Manifestos & Rants
Writing Prompt 5 – Pebble
Like a pebble disappearing as it sinks into water, so are those who incur the wrath of the Great Khan.
Upon mountains of skulls and a throne of bones does he build his great and lasting peace.
For his will is the divine will of heaven, so say the Priests of the Christians, the imams of the Muslim, and the Monks of the Buddha. All pray for the health of the Khan that he might bring us the wealth of the city-dwelling cattle.
Those beasts of burden whose art serves to glorify the horde. Whom we seasonally harvest when they are ripe, just as our women pick the berries at summer’s end.
Woe to any who resist the Khan, for to do so is to stand against heaven. See how the Golden Khan has fallen. This once proud group, who were free men of the Steppe are now lowly beasts in their nests. See how their weak were culled and the strong added to the glory of the horde.
See how merciful is the Khan, who allowed those whom he spared to prove their loyalty by being the first to fight for his honor against their former comrades and neighbors. How when given the chance to be free, they join and become men at last, if only for a second.
Note too, how any women of worth join the horde and become wives to the Khan and his men. For truly it is the first time many of them have seen a Man, rather than these paper-worshipping pigs they called husbands.
It is only too sad that all are not fit to live free. Such as the men who fought about whether to resist or join the horde and killed their OWN countrymen. None could trust men of these and the Khan mercifully ended their lives that they might seek a better one the next time around.
Wise is the Khan, who will not be questioned, but seeks the wise council of the engine-makers who fight city to city, and the sages, monks and other wise men of all nations, that he might be as wise as they and truly understand how best to bring heaven’s will to pass.
Glory to the Khan, may he live a thousand years, in this flower of peace he has wrought though the fertilizer of war.
– Unknown Khan Officer
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A test.
I’ve been tested. Immediately. I’ve been up for 22.5 hours now, and drove across the midwest from Stillwater, Minnesota to Westminster, Colorado. I enjoyed the ride (except for the part where I was in a construction zone I could’ve bypassed and had to go to the bathroom).
The whole way, I listened to Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and resolved to attempt classical stoicism for my dealings with people.
Upon reaching my house in Denver, I parked the truck and trailer in front of the crotchety old woman’s house across the street, ferried my things from the truck to the house and unlocked the door.
The smell that reached my nose was hard to place at first. Then it hit me. I mean it really hit me. Waves of garlic, stale sweat, unwashed dog and cumin wafted in. Then I detected a hint of marijuana. None of these things are smells that a sleep-deprived Luke wants to run into after being away from home for a year.
I had been expecting someone there. My dad mentioned that he had a scuba friend who would help out and wondered if I minded if she and a girlfriend stayed there. I said of course not.
When I arrived, I found there was a tiny mowgli-aged girl child sleeping on the couch.
No problem! I’ll just go downstairs to my nice bed, with the clean sheets.
Nearing the door, I heard a dog growling and then it hit me. For the first time, I could totally empathize with Papa Bear.
“Somebody’s been smoking pot in my kitchen.”
“Somebody’s been stenching up my house.”
“Somebody’s been sleeping in my bed! And there they are?!?”
So far, the count is not two women. It’s a woman, her boyfriend, their daughter (I hope), their dog, and possibly the other woman.
I reclaimed the futon mattress from the top of my bed and a pillow and hunkered down in a free room.
I’m not sure if it’s the delirium talking, but I’m pretty sure I’ve decided to find this funny. Though, I’m a bit worried that protocol might demand I eat them all up.
PS. I even found cold porridge left out on the table in the kitchen.
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Meditations 3 – Determination
A quote about determination I remember from wrestling:
The point is no to go until you can go no further. The point is to keep going while you can go no further.
This has been true so often for me. I also realize that my physical ability usually outstrips my mental fortitude.
Over the last few years, there are ways that I’ve allowed mental lassitude to become a norm for me. Usually, by not exerting myself enough physically or testing myself and my actual limitations.
From today, I’m reinstating my habit of saying that “I’m choosing X over my health, or want (some short-term happiness) more than (some long term gain).
Last time I did this, I lost 30 lbs of fat and got back in shape. Looking forward to seeing what it does this time.
Where are the areas in your life that need shoring up? The areas of slack that you’ve allowed to come into your life? The areas where you’ve forgotten to do your maintenance?
What would your life be like if you chose them instead of the easy things? What if you made what you say you want a priority in what you do?
What would you do next?
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Writing prompt 1 – A Long Hallway
“I don’t think it took this long when I got here” I thought. The distance from the beige room to the beige hallway that leads to the nurse’s station had gotten interminably long since I woke up.
I’m sure in in retrospect, that the distance was no greater; but hopped up on morphine to help with the pain in my side made it seem so far away. Each step required a ridiculous effort.
My reward for the effort I expended was a look. No, better make it a LOOK from the nurse on duty. She had probably been beautiful once, someone who cared about her charges and really wanted to help make people better.
Now, even through the morphine, it’s clear that too many long nights, with too much paperwork, too many whiny patients and overbearing doctors had ruined what was probably once a kind person with a loving, passionate nature.
She arched her eyes at me, “Yes Mr. Greene?”
“I’m sorry ma’am, could I have some water?”
“You had water a half hour ago, why didn’t you use the call button?”
“I did ma’am. It’s just that, no one answered.”
“We’re busy” she said, in the face of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. “You’ll get water when we have time.” She picked up her emery board and resumed filing her already perfect nails.
“You’re right, I will.” I muttered and headed toward the exit. Each step was harder than the last and lead closer and closer to that sweet cool taste of refreshing…
Hands gripped me and helped me into a wheel chair. James, an orderly, handed me a cool glass of water and whispered an apology.
As I rode back, I wished that I could have made the escape dramatically, but realized my slow motion hobble wouldn’t rate as heroic anywhere but inside my own head.
James helped me into bed, my temporary protector from the withering stares of petty tyrants and the warm blackness of sleep rose up to embrace me.
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An Open Letter.
Dear Non-religious people,
Realize that religious people accept certain sources as credible above all reason. Literally. Therefore, if engaging with them, please seek to understand their point of view and be educated, using their own religious material to prove your point.
Otherwise, they’ll just use “but my holy book says…” and you’re nowhere.
——
Dear religious people,
non-religious people don’t see your holy books and divine inspiration, so just like when witnessing to someone of a different faith, find common ground that doesn’t rely on “First you must believe in my religion.”
Otherwise, they will rightly point out that your evidence doesn’t make sense, because they’re not agreed-upon premises and so- don’t fit into a productive discussion.
—-
Dear everyone
If you want to make progress in a discussion, you must first understand the person whom you are trying to persuade of your point of view. Otherwise, you don’t have a good starting point and will end up frustrated.
If you haven’t already, I recommend reading “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. These techniques are ESPECIALLY important when discussing the BIG issues that matter to you.
Sincerely,
One slightly weird dude, who’s been thinking too much lately.
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An Ode to Jake.
Many of you know how great my dad Jake is. For those who don’t, you’re missing out. I would love to hear anyone’s best “Jake” story. Because there are a million of them, and I would do him a disservice to pick just one.
In the meantime:
Dad,
Thank you for being the guy who gave me my first pocket knife, hatchet, canoe paddle and being the one who taught me how to use them.
For being the guy who taught me the meaning of the phrase “If you knew wrestling, you wouldn’t get into this situation.”
For quitting jobs with high pay to take lower paying jobs that allowed you to come to my wrestling meets and then going on to rock those industries and become the best at that.
You are the reason I know “That which one man can do, another can do.”
Thank you for being the dad all our friends wished was their dad growing up.
Luke
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Guidelines For Living – Names
The seed of this piece came from my reaction to a piece from Salon.com called “Why I Hate White Belly Dancers”. It was a passionate article and I found a lot of it to be problematic (that’s PC code for I disagreed or found it offensive right?). One of the things I couldn’t help but agree with was the practice of renaming yourself something that “sounds” like it’s from another culture. From there my mind wandered to George Carlin’s pieces about guys with goofy names, then to a buzz feed article about athletes with unfortunate names.
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Things I’ve Noticed While Traveling pt. 1
I’m taking the months of December and January to visit my hometown of Stillwater, MN.
Some of you know that I’ve been on the road as a traveling dance instructor for the last several years. While traveling as a dance instructor, I get to take a look at the people around me and see into their lives; see what makes them tick (a bit) and see patterns arise between the way they approach dance and the way they approach the rest of their existence.
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Paddle Your Own Canoe: A Book Recommendation
Those of you who are familiar with the TV show Parks and Recreation will be familiar with Nick Offerman. He’s the actor who plays Ron Swanson mustachioed misanthrope who grudgingly gives advice and a listening ear while masticating meat.
