Whether in Martial Arts or Dance or Life, I’m finding that I should not seek a system or a code. These are inflexible.
Often there are simple ideas that started them, but they were supple as a result. The situations were able to be shaped as their situation demanded.
Once you adopt a code, it’s like covering yourself in clay or mud. In time, it may armor you a bit until it dries out or crystalizes.
Then it becomes brittle and will crack under strain, leaving you exposed.
A question from George Balanchine was shared with me on Facebook:
Fear and Laziness generally… Most of the time I find myself holding back, it’s either eventually found to be fear or laziness.
Overcoming the inertia of fear makes me feel powerful in a way nothing else can.
Overcoming the inertia of laziness makes you feel useful, like you’re doing something worthwhile.
Find your inner catalyst and go out there and be yourself. Bigger and badder and better than you ever have before. Let it fill you and radiate into your surroundings and you might even inspire others to do the same.
That’s where small victories turn into big ones. It’s where Life gets exciting!
One of my favorite current thinkers is former frontman for the band Black Flagg. He’s humble, he’s enlightened and he’s angry. He has a fury that drives him to get up on stage and be big and bombastic in front of crowds night after night.
He finds ways of saying things that make me question what I think I know, connects with the inner bullied-kid in me and hits my anti-authoritarian streak hard. In many ways, he’s like a less-bitter more down-to-earth George Carlin.
And I get it. I am able to channel anger through him that I can’t seem to access on my own.
That’s what I’m having a hard time with. My own lack of anger.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqKAsVMmEWk]
This is a fun exercise, but I think the original shows awareness of the more obvious advantages (things you can tell by looking at someone- e.g. looks) as opposed to things you’d need to know someone to know about (e.g. – intelligence, wit, skill) that Jolene had over the singer or it show Dolly’s insecurities.
Rather than being a showcase of the literal things that a person “should” be looking for in a mate it shows what Dolly was insecure about and in doing so touches us wherever our own insecurities lie.
That’s part of what makes it real and not just a writing exercise.
***
For those not in the know, recently I’ve gone through several changes. Those that I’m openly discussing in public are the following:
I’ve moved
Currently, I’m no longer living in my home state, Minnesota. You can find me in the environs of Bakersfield, California where I moved using an ADTmoving service for this. While I love my home state and many of my people there, including my good friend Dan over at DVG Framing (seriously, check out his framing and furniture, it’s amazing), Things were not altogether well and helping me to be the best Luke I could be for me and the people in my life.
I’ve Changed Job
I am still working on wood in my spare time, as well as writing, but I am no longer focusing on them. My dad, Dexter and I traveled west to see the eclipse and photograph it with Minneapolis photographer John Anderson, who kindly made modifications for my dad’s Canon 800mm F/2.8 Lens. We used it to photograph the eclipse and Dexter ran around like a madman taking pictures and taking an interest in the things he could do with the photographs. After the eclipse, we parted ways and I continued on to my destination, whereupon I joined Noah Nethero and Jake Miller at 1st Light Energy, a solar company that services all of California. My first afternoon in bakersfield, I stumbled into the Iron Arms Gym, met the owner Ryan and joined on the spot. (If you are from Bakersfield, and want to lift at a gym focused on “the iron”- join and tell them Luke sent you). Since then –
I’ve Started Lifting Again
I’m doing a better job of tracking my lifts and been going more regularly thanks to the fact that the Gym is a real gym and 10 minutes for my house. For $25/month I’m treated to loud music, guys who give me something to shoot for in size and strength, and the occasional shot or round robing Mortal Kombat session. It’s like I designed a gym in a computer to meet my geek, bro and lifting needs. At week two, my totals are still weak as a kitten (Bench 165, Squat 185, Deadlift 245), but after a nine year hiatus from serious lifting, I don’t deserve to be jumping back in. But since I’m putting in effort at the all-around self improvement –
I’ve Started Eating Healthier
Myfitnesspal by UnderArmor has been a great help. It allows me to track my calories, macros and what I’ve eaten. It’s a bit tricky when eating at non-fast food or non-chain restaurants, but they usually have general guidelines to follow. Additionally I can use it to track my weight, steps and exercise for the day. This is has made everything WAY easier to track and a lot of fun. I do miss habitRPG for the cute anime things, but for diet and fitness, this has been an excellent fit. The app inspired so –
I’ve Started using my Bullet Journal again
For those not in the know, bullet journaling is an offline way to make easily migrated tasks in any Journal-style notebook as well as notate events, cluster things into projects and set goals on a daily, monthly and yearly basis. It is fantastic. you can find out more information about it here. There are SO many different ways to do this, it’s highly adaptable and for the craft-y people reading, yes, you can use all the colored inks, tapes and even pictures you want in order to make it shine. For those more like me, that’s not necessary.
One of the modifications I’ve made is to use the habit tracker invented by Benjamin Franklin:
Though, I’ve inverted this by marking when I succeed at engaging in the habit I’m trying to develop. At the end of the month, I tally the number of days I engaged in the habit, divide by the days of the month and look at the success rate. Then the current month is compared with the previous to see where improvements can be made. Rather than the ideals Franklin for which Franklin strove, I’ve started farther down the ladder of abstraction. For now, I’m working on the following behaviors I’d like to make a part of my regular life.
• Completing all tasks I’ve assigned myself for the day
• Walking a minimum of 5,000 steps
• Meditate – this has been the hardest to think about so far. tonight I just thought about some quotes from Jordan B. Peterson, probably one of the greatest professors of the modern era. Check out his Maps of Meaning series on youtube
• Shower – Hey, hygiene is important, and I wanted a habit I could cross off every morning first thing, like the bed-making suggestion from Admiral McRaven
• Staying Under my recommended Calories
• Read/Listen to non-fiction books and podcasts for at least 30 minutes per day.
• Write – This was the one I wanted most and have put the least consistency into up to this point. Whoops! Sorry folks.
• Knock Doors – This is a big part of my new job working with 1st Light Energy and my goal is to knock a few doors every day.
• Gym/Yoga – walking is not enough. I’ve dedicated Mondays to Deadlift, Wednesday to Bench and Friday to Squat. Somehow the off days just lack luster and so it’s on those days that I’m going to be filling in with Yoga, Dance, or other physical activities.
• Rosetta Stone – I have been gifted a license for Rosetta Stone German – Levels I-V and want to see if it’s all it’s cracked up to be. So far, I’m noticing my comprehension go WAY up, but that’s starting from zero… we’ll see how it goes. I’m really enjoying the difference between Der hund frisst and Er isst.
The next few are work metrics, not quite daily habits because some are out of my control.
• Appointment set – I’m requiring at least one appointment set per work day either from knocking doors or a networking type meeting. On days when I’m knocking, my goal is for three appointments set.
• Referrals Received – I’m handing out a lot of referrals, and I’d like to track them.
• Deal Closed – Need appointments for these to close, but I’d like to get an idea of what kind of effort needs to be made in order to actually make a consistent living selling solar.
• Phone Calls Made – Did I call at least one person to follow up on some bit of business?
So far, that’s a lot of change from what I was doing to what I AM doing now. I’m excited to make this into a process rather than a goal.
The last day or so has been a pretty nice one. I woke up, packed my things and went to the Minnesota State Fair.
For the uninitiated, the Minnesota state fair is an experience. It DOMINATES discussion of plans during the end of the summer and remains one of the only acceptable reasons to get out of going to some unpleasant function.
e.g. – Why didn’t you go to Grandma’s funeral?
I couldn’t go, that’s the day had I go to the Fair.
This would OF COURSE offend people, because… what kind of idiot only goes to the fair one time during the year?
Sometimes exhaustion strikes
between the loves and likes
(This is an old unpublished post form October 2014, when I was training with one of my dance partners in Chicago and she invited me to an Aikido class).
The last week with Ruby Red has been interesting for me for many ways. For the last year, she has been mostly living in her hometown of Chicago and has been studying other movement disciplines like Weightlifting and Aikido.
I decided to accompany her to the Aikido class; something I’ve never experienced before.
I’ve spent many years as a wrestler and a dancer. Aikido seems to me to be an odd combination of dance and blues dancing.
One of the first things that struck me about Aikido was how little tone was used to accomplish the attacks and counterattacks. I spent most of the first class working on dropping muscle engagement; much the way a novice dancer does in Blues Dancing.
I also noticed that like dancing it was much easier to understand what my opponent was giving me to work with. Any tone in them made them easier to move and relaxation in my body made me harder to move.
My background is not in a traditional eastern martial art. I’ve studied some Boxing, some Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, A lot of Wrestling and the martial philosophy I was raised with was heavily influenced by Jeet Kune Do.
In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I wore a gi; unlike Aikido there was no veneration of a master or bowing to a shrine.
We train for Boxing and Wrestling in shorts or sweats depending on whether or not they’re trying to make weight for a competition.
Aikido brought with it a sense of tradition, both in the proscribed movements for the attacks and the bows to the sensei each time that assistance was given or a concept/move was demonstrated.
This was very foreign to me. Especially since the moves were named in Japanese and given translation. (Much like attending a Yoga class and using terms like Tadasana instead of Mountain Pose).
In my first week this caused me to itch somewhat. A lifetime of experience pushing me to eschew tradition in favor of expediency was seemingly at odds with this way of learning.
Deciding to open myself up to a new way of looking at things.
Overall, the feeling reminded me of the first time I went to a tango class. There was a lot of vocabulary which seemed to be in a foreign language more to add the feeling of connectedness to the culture where the pastime originated rather than to create clarity for the student.
Because Aikido seems to be a very defensive and reactive art, the attacks in my first class were difficult to reconcile with what I know about leaving openings for your opponent.
It was much easier to accept when I learned that Aikido was originally meant as a fighting style for unarmed opponents to deal with armed opponents. The overhead chop to an opponent was particularly difficult for me to do, and I kept overreaching because it was felt so unnatural to expose my ribcage to an opponent that I couldn’t feel the “right” way to do it.
Eventually though Edward (the very, very patient sensei) helped me to a greater understanding of what the goal was.
There were a few things beyond patience that really impressed me about his teaching style.
I am thankful for the opportunity to work with him in his class.
Recently on a Facebook group I sometimes read, someone asked a question about people feeling fatigue talking about race-, sex-, femin- and may other isms that they are passionate about. Specifically how to approach people about a topic you’re passionate about, but might be tiring or a turn-off for them.
This was my reply:
