Lucas Weismann

Another Winter Gone – 3

Marcus exited Zup’s and headed to the truck.  as he approached he noticed a spot where a kicked up rock must have taken a chunk of paint off.  The road salt was already helping nature to take its course less than an hour later.  Well, nature was taking its course the way nature did.

And since he knew his nature, he made a stop at the hardware store.  Jack London would have to wait.  After all, the things we value are not measured by the way we speak of them, but our actions regarding them.

He sighed as he drove back, noting that it was clear from the state of the roads and that bridge collapse down in Minneapolis a few years back, that the people responsible for infrastructure clearly didn’t feel the same way; and when they did feel that way you got Amos.

He’d seen Amos in the paint aisle when he was picking out the necessary tools for the job at hand.  They had talked amiably enough, what was the point of being unneighborly after awhile, but somehow it never ceased to amaze Marcus how long it took the man to say so little.  

He’d tried to talk to Marcus about the recent Vikings game, as if there was any sense in feeling pride at the achievements of some millionaires working for some billionaires who happened to be wearing your flag.

It wasn’t that Marcus didn’t like football, in fact he’d seen the game and had been impressed with the drive and focus of the men on the field.  They’d acquitted themselves well and should be proud of themselves.  It was that he just didn’t see the point of being proud of things that were not a result of a choice or effort on your part.

It wasn’t as if he or Amos had been there.  It wasn’t as if he had made the winning touchdown, or completed a pass.  Foolishness.  

No, you’d never see him wearing Purple and Gold for their sake, nor would you see him wearing Green and Gold.  At least, not because of the game.

“So, hey, whatcha doing with the paint there Marcus?”

“Gonna paint the truck.”

“That doesn’t seem like enough, you only got one spray can.”

“It’s enough for what I’m going to paint Amos.”

“But if you paint that area, it won’t match.”

Why people had to be like this, he had no idea.  It seemed perfectly clear to Marcus that since we was likely to be the only owner of the truck, his was the only opinion of the truck that mattered.  And even then, only whether he judged it to work according to his needs.  When it didn’t, he’d obviously get a new truck.  There was no point in telling Amos this of course, it would only encourage him to talk more.

“Probably not, but the truck is black, and I’d rather have it be mismatched and black, than mismatched and rusty.”

Clearly there was some premise that Marcus was missing in Amos’s thinking, but there was no point in guessing the motives of someone, since their actions were beyond his control.

He smiled and found a way out of the conversation quickly and judging by Amos’s expression, he’d felt like they’d had a good conversation.  Well, and good, thought Marcus.  No point in hurting the man, just because they lived their lives differently.

Once he got home, Marcus put away the groceries, cleaned the car and got to sanding.  He was glad of the work and the fact that it gave him a chance to look things over.  There were four nicks in all and he took care of them.  

First sanding, then priming, then painting.  Afterward, there was barely any way to notice at a distance.  Not that you couldn’t tell if you knew where to look.  

Satisfaction and a chicken he’d been roasting in the oven were his reward, as he picked up Call of the Wild and began to read.

Another Winter Gone – 2

Mark.  Mark.  Mark! His head snapped up out of the book he was reading.  Which was it, Jack London or Farley Mowat?  Either way, it didn’t matter.  Books like this had been as better than any drugs to the young Marcus.  Truth be told, they still were, even now.

He turned to face his mother.  What had she been asking?  He had no idea.  He hadn’t even heard her until the third time she’d called him.

“yeah mom, what?” he asked, trying to sound positive rather than grumpy about being pulled out of the world of wolves.

I said, ‘Did you get your chores done?’

“Mostly,” he said.

“so, no.”

“What?  I did get them mostly done.  I did more work than I should have to.”

“Really?” she sounded intrigued.  Crap.  That was way more dangerous than if she would just yell at him.  “What percentage exactly do you think you should have to do of your chores?”

“well, I…”

“no, I’m really interested.  I mean, what if I only cooked you half your dinner?  raw meat and cooked vegetables.  or no meat and raw potatoes and vegetables.  What if I half-did the pancakes?”

“yeah, but…”

“how would that work do you think?”

“it wouldn’t.” She didn’t understand.  God he hated the lecturing. The telling him things he didn’t want to know and acting like it was for his own good.  it made his back muscles clench up and the hairs on his neck tingle just remembering it.

Yes.  Dishes needed washing and laundry needed folding.  But how could that compare to the magic of Jack London, Farley Mowat or Mark Twain.  The guys in these stories went on adventures and explored and found Gold!  No laundry could compare with that.  In the eternal summer of his memory, there was no greater joy than escaping into the woods with a snack, a canteen and something to read by his holy trinity of boyhood authors.

Well, that or books that taught you real skills.  Things like tying knots or wilderness first aid, or starting fires, or which plants were good for medicine.

Marcus loved the First Aid books best of all.  There was something so compelling about the idea that if someone were to get hurt (not that you’d wish for them to get hurt, but if they did get hurt and you couldn’t prevent it), that you could do something! I mean, how cool would it be to stabilize a broken arm until you could get the person to a hospital.  Or that you could staunch bleeding enough to buy the person time enough to get to a doctor or someone who could sew them up right.

How could any stupid chores compare with that?

I mean, as soon as he was able to, Marcus planned to head away into the woods or the mountains so he could be a mountain man like Jeremiah Johnson.

Then he would live in his own cabin and not have to do any stupid chores.  He’d just live off the land and be free.  A free man (boy), not constrained by other people’s schedules or rules.

It’s strange how some lessons only become obvious after you learn them.  It’s also strange how much and how little we know about the future when we’re that age.  How hold had Marcus been?  Five years old, six maybe?

The longer he lived, the more the crayons of his memory melted together in the slow heat of time.  Eventually unusable and amorphous, but still pretty in an odd way.

A test.

I’ve been tested.  Immediately.  I’ve been up for 22.5 hours now, and drove across the midwest from Stillwater, Minnesota to Westminster, Colorado.  I enjoyed the ride (except for the part where I was in a construction zone I could’ve bypassed and had to go to the bathroom).

The whole way, I listened to Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and resolved to attempt classical stoicism for my dealings with people.

Upon reaching my house in Denver, I parked the truck and trailer in front of the crotchety old woman’s house across the street, ferried my things from the truck to the house and unlocked the door.

The smell that reached my nose was hard to place at first.  Then it hit me.  I mean it really hit me.  Waves of garlic, stale sweat, unwashed dog and cumin wafted in.  Then I detected a hint of marijuana.  None of these things are smells that a sleep-deprived Luke wants to run into after being away from home for a year.

I had been expecting someone there.  My dad mentioned that he had a scuba friend who would help out and wondered if I minded if she and a girlfriend stayed there.  I said of course not.

When I arrived, I found there was a tiny mowgli-aged girl child sleeping on the couch.

No problem!  I’ll just go downstairs to my nice bed, with the clean sheets.

Nearing the door, I heard a dog growling and then it hit me.  For the first time, I could totally empathize with Papa Bear.

“Somebody’s been smoking pot in my kitchen.”

“Somebody’s been stenching up my house.”

“Somebody’s been sleeping in my bed!  And there they are?!?”

So far, the count is not two women.  It’s a woman, her boyfriend, their daughter (I hope), their dog, and possibly the other woman.

I reclaimed the futon mattress from the top of my bed and a pillow and hunkered down in a free room.

I’m not sure if it’s the delirium talking, but I’m pretty sure I’ve decided to find this funny.  Though, I’m a bit worried that protocol might demand I eat them all up.

PS.  I even found cold porridge left out on the table in the kitchen.

Another Winter Gone – 1

Marcus sat by the window, looking out over the clearing.  Another winter thawed outside.  He’d seen 92-odd winters come and go in his lifetime, plus a few he didn’t remember.  Just the essentials.  That’s what he’d told the reporters who’d snowshoed in to report his 95th birthday for the Echo.  That’s what kept him alive and fit at the age of 95.

He had his house on the lake, his tools in his shop and plenty of firewood for the winter.  No need for foolishness.  No need for make-work projects, when there was enough real work to be done.

It had been a surprise when the reporter came up the path, audible before she’d been visible- her snowshoes crunching on the top layer of crusted snow.  He recognized her of course.  Her was printed next to her column in the paper.

Marcus kept a newspaper subscription for three reasons:

  1. He liked having something to read in the outhouse (especially if he was snowed in and couldn’t get to town for *ahem* other papers he might want in there)
  2. He liked the excuse to walk the 400 yards to the end of the driveway every morning.
  3. It was nice to have an alernative source of kindling in case birch bark supplies were running low.

The last reason wasn’t really that strong he reflected after he realized he was following the “rule of three.”  It wasn’t strong, because he couldn’t remember the last time that he had actually used birch bark or paper to start a fire.  Sure, he kept some around in case of emergency, but he also had as much white gas as he was ever likely to need in the small cottage he’d built all those years before.

Despite the reputation he had (and was largely unaware of) of being the last of the old-time trappers, sourdoughs and voyageurs, Marcus had no pride at all when it came to the practical matter of starting a fire.

He’d happily use a lighter if one was available, but generally preferred to make his own kindling bundles use a steel whenever possible.  Small bundles of moss and Jack Pine twigs that would go up like kerosene even soaking wet.

He knew how to use a bow-drill of course and other “primitive” means, but fire was too important to survival for a person to stick to honorable methods like Flint and Steel or even a one-match fire.

Hell, he’d even started a fire using a ball made of thin strips of duct tape he’d ignited with steel wool and a 9-volt battery once.  It stank to high heaven and was smokey as hell, so it was probably for the best that he’d pulled it from the one Fire detector that weasel of a bureaucrat Amos Johnson had insisted upon.  Damn thing went off half the time when he cooked his bacon, as if he wasn’t perfectly aware it was smoking him out of his own cabin.

In reality of course, Amos was amiable and capable, it’s just that among other duties he was responsible for making sure things were up to code.  The way Marcus saw it, code was fine.  It was for people who didn’t know how to build a house properly so the damned thing wouldn’t fall down.  It didn’t need to apply to people who know what they’re doing.

There was one other objection Marcus had to Amos.  He talked too much.  Any time they ran into each other in town, that damned fool said nothing in as many words as possible.  He had a nervous manner and talked too loud.  Especially outside.

Over the years Marcus had come to realize the truth of silence.  Understanding that the bigger the space, the quieter one should be in it.  Not space per se, but more like what you get when there’s space and it’s not filled up with people.

Being outside in a city requires a person to be louder to make themselves heard.  So, being inside with that mentality, one needs to to remember to be quiet.

Being outside “on the loose” as one of the old campfire songs from his youth had called it, meant that you didn’t need to be loud.  Your very presence there was an intrusion, like a stranger at a wake.  Everything in the forest is so aware of any human, that there’s no need to be loud.  You have the floor, as it were.

This is what that damned fool Amos never seemed to understand.

The reporter had been better.  She knew how to listen at least.  Well, sort-of.  She knew how to listen to people, for what they said and what they said when they didn’t say something.  It was a start.  Maybe in time, she’d learn to listen without needing to hear words in the silence.

The questions for the article had covered a range of topics.  Mostly banal, but some sparked memories he’d forgotten for a long time.  Where was he from? The past.  What did he do?  The work in front of him.  (How can you explain to someone the rhythm of living on your own off the land?  How can you explain that every day is the same and each day is unique?  How you know when to find mushrooms or run trap lines or hunt deer?)  The questions had continued for awhile, until she asked her last question.  What made you move out here away from everyone? I came seeking silence and a place to think.

At that point, she’d understood his meaning more pointedly than he’d meant to say it, because she started to pack up her notebook.  Quickly.  “Well, thank you for your time and I’ll try not to intrude on your silence any further.”

Her snowshoes finally agreed to being used, after a bit of wrangling and she was out the door.  He was surprised at how tired he felt tired after she left.  Probably just a reaction to an uninvited visitor making him use the long-forgotten courtesy parts of the brain.  Janet.  That was the name on the columns.

It’s funny how someone can look like a name, he thought.  As if the appellation a parent gives a child somehow shapes their character.  Then unbidden, memories of his son, his Jack, were called up against his will.

There was no question what he needed to do next.  He picked up his axe and went to split logs for firewood.

Meditations 3 – Determination

A quote about determination I remember from wrestling:

The point is no to go until you can go no further. The point is to keep going while you can go no further.

This has been true so often for me.  I also realize that my physical ability usually outstrips my mental fortitude.

Over the last few years, there are ways that I’ve allowed mental lassitude to become a norm for me. Usually, by not exerting myself enough physically or testing myself and my actual limitations.

From today, I’m reinstating my habit of saying that “I’m choosing X over my health, or want (some short-term happiness) more than (some long term gain).

Last time I did this, I lost 30 lbs of fat and got back in shape. Looking forward to seeing what it does this time.


Where are the areas in your life that need shoring up?  The areas of slack that you’ve allowed to come into your life?  The areas where you’ve forgotten to do your maintenance?

What would your life be like if you chose them instead of the easy things?  What if you made what you say you want a priority in what you do?

What would you do next?

Writing Prompt 3 – Woodwind Instrument

Sara removed the now-wet reed from her mouth and sighted it on the mouthpiece to make sure it was aligned properly.  she slipped the ligature over the tapered tip of the mouthpiece and carefully tightened the screw.  Each adjustment was precise, like someone reassembling a firearm after cleaning.

The was one of her favorite parts of playing.  The meditative aspects of assembling the clarinet helped to clear her mind before the hour that lay ahead.  She worked the mouthpiece onto the neck, feeling it reach the place she knew would be closest to in tune.

The edge of the cork was worn and would need to be replaced in a few months.  It didn’t matter right now.  What mattered now was taking the time to do things properly.

first came the tone exercises, from pianissimo to fortissimo with a B-flat (the lowest in the register), working her way up to the highest note she could play in octaves, then back down in fifths, fourths, and finally in minor thirds.

The sound of the diminished scale was particularly haunting on the clarinet she reflected, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that each note was held for a minimum of 32 beats, in order to train her diaphragm.

Once she finished with these exercises, she started working her fingering exercise.  octaves, fifths, fourths, minor thirds.  Ahh, there’s that sound.  No matter how many times she played it, it somehow resonated.

Each day she practiced a rhythm for 10 minutes.  Today was triplet quarter.  The same pattern as someone pronouncing “cinnamon bun” (ta ta ta taaa).  running her fingers up and down the arpeggios, she let her mind wander and was noticed almost immediately the drop in quality.

Refocusing on the tone, she worked, shifting focus from fingers, to embouchure, to breath and back.

After the exercise was complete, she looked up.  20 minutes had gone by.  Shoot!  I need to practice the new chart.  She pulled it out.  It was Ornithology, by Charlie Parker.

“Why did I agree to do this?” her second thoughts asked.  They were always trying to find a way out of whatever discipline she had committed to.

“Because it’s a great song and will make us better.” her first thoughts said.  Logical as ever, of course.

“Yeah, but why this song?”

“Because of the reason you’re trying to weasel out of this.” she told herself.  “Because it’s hard.”

That silenced Sara’s second thoughts until the frustration had built up in her third play through at 1/8 speed.

“See?  I told you, we’ll never get this.”

“Breathe.” said her third thoughts. This was the part of her that watched the others in her head.  The one that got called in to settle disputes and keep her on track.

“Breathe and let’s get through this.  We can do this.”  Although Sara never thought about it in those terms, the sound of the voice and words it spoke were exactly like her mom would have said if she were there.  Somehow the words and tone always got to her and helped calm things.

“Okay” said her first thoughts, “Now that the interruptions are over, let’s begin again.”

Writing Prompt 2 – Things that Perk

Today’s assignment was to make a list of things that perk:

  • an animal’s Ears perk and twitch when trying to ascertain the direction of a noise
  • A dog’s head perks up from slumber
  • gophers perk up out of there holes
  • the same goes for marmots, mongoose and mice
  • cheerleaders can be perky
  • coffee finish percolating and then perk you up
  • after jumping through the hole in the ice, the cold made my nipples look quite perky
  • a person can have perky eyes
  • one flower in a field of many perked over the rest
  • a game can perk up after an interesting move relieves boredom
  • the same goes for a dance whose DJ changes the mood to music the dancers want to hear
  • my attitude, upon being told dinner is ready and we’re having Pot Roast (The capital letters are intentional.  If you’ve had Pot Roast cooked by my Mom, my Dad, my Grandma or Me, you know why…)
  • In general though, it seems to break down into a few possibilities
    • Physical part of someone
    • A person’s attitude
    • energy, or the atmosphere in a room.
  • Decorations such as flowers lain at a jaunty angle.
  • The economy
  • a political campaign
  • A product line after it’s been given a figurative facelift.

Writing prompt 1 – A Long Hallway

“I don’t think it took this long when I got here” I thought.  The distance from the beige room to the beige hallway that leads to the nurse’s station had gotten interminably long since I woke up.

I’m sure in in retrospect, that the distance was no greater; but hopped up on morphine to help with the pain in my side made it seem so far away.  Each step required a ridiculous effort.

My reward for the effort I expended was a look.  No, better make it a LOOK from the nurse on duty.  She had probably been beautiful once, someone who cared about her charges and really wanted to help make people better.

Now, even through the morphine, it’s clear that too many long nights, with too much paperwork, too many whiny patients and overbearing doctors had ruined what was probably once a kind person with a loving, passionate nature.

She arched her eyes at me, “Yes Mr. Greene?”

“I’m sorry ma’am, could I have some water?”

“You had water a half hour ago, why didn’t you use the call button?”

“I did ma’am.  It’s just that, no one answered.”

“We’re busy” she said, in the face of the overwhelming evidence to the contrary.  “You’ll get water when we have time.”  She picked up her emery board and resumed filing her already perfect nails.

“You’re right, I will.” I muttered and headed toward the exit.  Each step was harder than the last and lead closer and closer to that sweet cool taste of refreshing…

Hands gripped me and helped me into a wheel chair.  James, an orderly, handed me a cool glass of water and whispered an apology.

As I rode back, I wished that I could have made the escape dramatically, but realized my slow motion hobble wouldn’t rate as heroic anywhere but inside my own head.

James helped me into bed, my temporary protector from the withering stares of petty tyrants and the warm blackness of sleep rose up to embrace me.

 

An Open Letter.

Dear Non-religious people,

Realize that religious people accept certain sources as credible above all reason. Literally. Therefore, if engaging with them, please seek to understand their point of view and be educated, using their own religious material to prove your point.

Otherwise, they’ll just use “but my holy book says…” and you’re nowhere.

——

Dear religious people,

non-religious people don’t see your holy books and divine inspiration, so just like when witnessing to someone of a different faith, find common ground that doesn’t rely on “First you must believe in my religion.”

Otherwise, they will rightly point out that your evidence doesn’t make sense, because they’re not agreed-upon premises and so- don’t fit into a productive discussion.

—-

Dear everyone

If you want to make progress in a discussion, you must first understand the person whom you are trying to persuade of your point of view. Otherwise, you don’t have a good starting point and will end up frustrated.

If you haven’t already, I recommend reading “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. These techniques are ESPECIALLY important when discussing the BIG issues that matter to you.

Sincerely,

One slightly weird dude, who’s been thinking too much lately.

An Ode to Jake.

Dad and me.Many of you know how great my dad Jake​ is. For those who don’t, you’re missing out. I would love to hear anyone’s best “Jake” story. Because there are a million of them, and I would do him a disservice to pick just one.

 

 

In the meantime:

Dad,

Thank you for being the guy who gave me my first pocket knife, hatchet, canoe paddle and being the one who taught me how to use them.

For being the guy who taught me the meaning of the phrase “If you knew wrestling, you wouldn’t get into this situation.”

For quitting jobs with high pay to take lower paying jobs that allowed you to come to my wrestling meets and then going on to rock those industries and become the best at that.

He plays the bluesYou are the reason I know “That which one man can do, another can do.”

Thank you for being the dad all our friends wished was their dad growing up.

Luke

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